We all went to Barnes and Noble so that my daughter could get a book that she wanted (She’s totally into Dork Diaries right now). We split up as we normally do when it’s the four of us-My daughter went with me and MJ went with hubby. We quickly found the book my daughter wanted and decided to try and find something for MJ. He likes animals so we picked up a book about dolphins and found them and showed the book to MJ. Other than reading the title, we could tell he was not interested. hubby gave me the, “leave him alone, give him some space” look so I decided to stop hovering and see if he picked out anything. That lasted about 10 min lol because I saw a book about one of his favorite TV shows! I showed it to him and he started smiling and even reading it a little, but he would not pick it up and hold it. It was getting late so we went to the checkout counter and purchased the book for my daughter. As soon as we got into the car MJ says, “What about mine?” Hubby and I look at each other, then back at MJ. We then say, “MJ do you want to go back inside and find a book?” He started repeating a sound over and over again- Which is what he does when he can’t decide what to do, ” eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, ehhhhhhhhhh.” After about the 10th “eh,” I got out and went to his side of the car and calmly asked again if he wanted to go back inside. Then I waited and waited and waited. He finally got out of the car, we went back inside, and he picked up the PJ Masks book from earlier. He happily went to the checkout counter and I gave him cash and made him pay for the book. We all went home happy.
We are trying to work on helping him to make decisions. Sometimes the simplest of choices, poses the biggest problems (rice or bread, apple juice or lemonade etc). He takes a lot of time to make those decisions and he gets very frustrated when he can’t make up his mind. Son, we will work on this together until you are no longer frustrated. We love you buddy.
I saw this and had to post it. The truth is that we don’t know if MJ will ever be able to live independently. However, we will be there for him no matter what. ❤
My daughter brought home a form about a support group for siblings of special needs kids. I was both shocked and happy as I read the form. It discussed the benefits of meeting other kids who may share similar family dynamics as they do. The group will meet once per week during the school day. I had a conversation with my daughter and asked her if this is something she’d like to do. She said “of course mommy!” She had her second session this week. She said that she had fun, talked about feelings, and made new friends. I’m very impressed that her school even has this support group. I’ve never heard of anything like this happening at a school!
We do our best to make sure she always feels special and we have our one-on-one time with her…But I know she sees a difference in how things work when it comes to herself and MJ. Often times she understands, but I know she gets frustrated as well. I’m so grateful for this support group and I pray it continues to be beneficial for her.
A few months back I wrote about how I thought I made MJ lazy. Since then and continuing through this year, we are determined to change that and make him more independent. That being said, it has NOT been easy. He is SO RESISTANT to doing things that he knows how to do. This is the conversation lately:
Me: MJ, put your clothes in the washing machine.
MJ: NO! YOU PUT MY CLOTHES IN THE WASHING MACHINE!
Me: MJ, walk a little bit faster. We are going to be late for school.
MJ: Begins walking as slow as a turtle!
Me: MJ, put your waffles in the toaster.
MJ: NO MOMMY! YOU PUT THE WAFFLES IN THE TOASTER!
ME: MJ, pour yourself some juice.
MJ: NO! YOU POUR ME SOME JUICE!
See the pattern?!!! When he does this I always have to go right up to his face and tell him again to do whatever I’m asking. He always eventually does it, but in the process, he gives me what I call “the angry growl face.” My husband has never seen that “face.” In fact, he laughs when I tell him about it. I try to imitate MJ and it just makes hubby laugh even more. When my husband asks MJ to do these very same things, MJ complies right away. It’s UNBELIEVABLE! No matter what face he gives me, I am not giving up. MJ will be 13 years old soon and with each passing year, I get a little more nervous. I have to constantly pray about his future and our sanity. I still take it day by day because… I just have to. I can’t think too far ahead because the thought of the unknown can literally “shut me down” at times. We are determined to make him be as independent as he can possibly be. With Faith, Work, and Determination…It will be done!
Mj was fiddling around in the kitchen today with paper and pencil in hand. After giving him his space for about 20 minutes, I went to check in on him. He had drawn a figure that I didn’t recognize. He looked at me and said, “That doesn’t look like a dog to me.” I actually saw concern on his face because he knew that his picture was not that great. I immediately went to Google and looked up a video on How To Draw a Dog. We watch the video together and step-by-step MJ drew a picture of a dog all by himself. He was so proud, and so am I.
This is a link to the video we watched…
How To Draw A Dog For Kids.
I almost jumped on the dining room table when I read this! Though this says it’s for special needs moms, I believe many moms can take this as their New Year’s Goals!! I for one plan to make ALL of these a reality this year.
Pic courtesy of Instagram