Through the next few years it became increasingly more difficult for my husband to deal with MJ and his autism diagnosis. NO PEOPLE HE WASN’T IN DENIAL (people love to say this)! He was very much aware of what we were dealing with and he didn’t like it one bit. He came home one day and I could tell something was wrong by the look on his face. I asked “What’s wrong…what happened,” He said, “Today when I dropped MJ off to daycare, three little girls called out to MJ and instead of him going toward them to say ‘hello,’ he ran away from them!” In all seriousness, he speaks his truth about the situation and although it is hard for me to hear at times, I appreciate his honesty. You know they say men do not talk much and they hold in their feelings?!?! Well, NOT THIS GUY. I would love for him to join a support group or see a therapist but he refuses. Maybe one day through prayer he will change his mind. I can honestly say that on some days it is more difficult dealing with my husband’s feelings about this, then it is to deal with MJ!!! I researched and found out that the divorce rates were high for the parents of special needs children. I informed my husband about this and we both looked at each other as if to say “we know why”. When MJ was younger and the constant screaming, banging and throwing toys, and not being able to understand what MJ was saying was happening, there were days that he just had to leave the house for a few. IT WAS HARD TO ENDURE PEOPLE! I never took offense to it…I would rather him leave and re-group, then to do or say something hurtful. Thankfully for us, we are friends. We communicate a lot with each other even when one person is saying something the other doesn’t agree with. We may have to take a break (I put the Vaseline back in the cabinet and put my earrings back on lol) and then continue our conversation, but we make sure that there is some kind of resolve. I remember one conversation where I asked him about “teamwork”. I took the lead with most of the “things” regarding MJ. I knew how this entire situation made him feel and, can I be honest? I knew I would do a better job at it! So, what I could do on my own, I did, while at the same time keeping my husband informed. Teamwork, my husband’s sense of humor, and God is how we have stayed together over the years…Oh and one more thing…our annual “stay married” vacation :-)…
Girl you are a mess, but thank God you put the Vaseline away and your earrings back one. My money would be on you. 😄 You don’t play with a mother and her kids.
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Girl you know it. You know it was gold hoop earrings right lol!
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May God continue to bless you both with the patience, strength and wisdom to be that support system that MJ & your family needs. Xoxo
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Thank you. I receive that blessing.
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Running away from 3 girls?, I think he has his head on straight. Sounds like a pack of trouble.
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What I liked most about this post was the lesson in teamwork. If one person is better at something then they handle it (willingly). Think this makes life a whole lot easier and avoids thoughts like: why doesn’t he or she help me out more? As I was once told, life is about capacity and some of us have more in certain areas than others. Great post as usual.
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We had to figure out what would work best for us. Thank God that we did
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Hello Nicky.
I’ve seen you on my blog several times and thank you for the follow. I’ve promised myself to make time to visit you and here I am. I thought it helped to start from the beginning and I’ll have to catch up where I can.
I just wanted to say that from what I’ve read so far, you sound like an admirable person. I don’t think I’ve ever encountered Autism and I’m not sure I could have done half of what you’ve done for MJ and to keep your family together. While autism may in itself not seem relevant for me, it is reading your experience of coping with an unexpected and challenging experience like this that makes me feel grateful for reading your story and learning how I could be a better parent. Thank you for sharing this story – while it may help you to get support and make sense of your role as a parent and wife, I find messages for myself to reflect on in my own relationships with my family.
Thank you, God Bless and have a lovely day! Chevvy.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog. I believe that we can all take something away from the blogs that we read and apply it to our own lives. That’s why I think blogging is so valuable. I enjoy your blog as well! Thanks again for the support! 😊😊
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My pleasure meeting you Nicky and look forward to more exchanges. Best. Chevvy.
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Definitely😊
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