I admit it. It’s true. My husband was right (the rare time that he was lol). My son is lazy and it’s all my fault. I didn’t mean for this to happen but the damage is already done and I am now trying desperately to undo his laziness! In the beginning I did everything for MJ mostly because I had to but as he has grown, I have continued to do more than I should have done. My husband and I have had countless arguments on this subject. He was able to see what I was doing and tried to tell me several times…I always answered back with my “I’m his mother and you don’t know what you’re talking about” attitude. My son walked around the house like he was “King MJ”.
I made his bed.
I emptied his trash.
I cleaned up his room.
I made his snacks.
I cleaned the table after he ate.
I made sure he didn’t lift a finger around the house.
I should’ve made a change years ago, probably around 3 years ago, but for me I realized about a year ago. I had seen how he cleaned in his classroom and at aftercare. He was a regular Mr. Clean around there…It finally dawned on me. I am hindering him at home. Now it’s a fight to get him to do things that I KNOW he can do.
Now, he takes out the garbage.
Now he cleans his room.
Now he takes out his trash.
Now he cleans up after he eats.
Now he gets his own snacks.
…But not without grumbling (which is probably his way of cursing and complaining at me lol), yelling, saying “no” or “I don’t think so”, stomping up and down the stairs, slamming the door or other negative behaviors. I have decided that I really don’t care what he says or does. He must have chores and some responsibilities and I don’t want to hold him back from doing things that he can do. Today I made him hang up his school uniform shirts…They look horrible hanging in the closet but I praised him for doing it…Next up, teaching him to load the laundry?!
GOOD JOB, MOMMY AND MJ! At least you realized your part in the problem and you are correcting it now! Better late than never!!! 👏🏽
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I did not want to admit it but my husband was right all along!
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I struggle with this, too. I have been trying to add a task every month. Not always successful, but trying!
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It’s so difficult!
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I appreciate any parent making an effort to increase their child’s independence. It really helps them to show that they can be successful on their own with time, patience and much practice. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
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I, too, have fallen into doing everything for my son. My husband jas pointed out that he is not physically handicapped. He has arms and legs that work just fine and he can do things on his own! Its been a challenge trying to undo it!
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So glad I’m not alone. I fight with this on a daily basis.
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Nope definitely not alone. It’s awesome you had the realization BC they need these life skills. My tough one was the bathroom. I hated and still don’t look forward to letting J try to wipe after a BM but I had to let go of what I felt he should be able to do and what he actually can do at this point. Ps J still hangs up his stuff crooked especially if he rushes. It’s all a work in progress, and progress is good.
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