A few months back I wrote about how I thought I made MJ lazy.  Since then and continuing through this year, we are determined to change that and make him more independent.  That being said, it has NOT been easy.  He is SO RESISTANT to doing things that he knows how to do.  This is the conversation lately:

Me: MJ, put your clothes in the washing machine.


Me: MJ, walk a little bit faster.  We are going to be late for school.

MJ: Begins walking as slow as a turtle!

Me: MJ, put your waffles in the toaster.


ME: MJ, pour yourself some juice.


See the pattern?!!! When he does this I always have to go right up to his face and tell him again to do whatever I’m asking.  He always eventually does it, but in the process, he gives me what I call “the angry growl face.”  My husband has never seen that “face.”  In fact, he laughs when I tell him about it.  I try to imitate MJ and it just makes hubby laugh even more.  When my husband asks MJ to do these very same things, MJ complies right away.  It’s UNBELIEVABLE!  No matter what face he gives me, I am not giving up.  MJ will be 13 years old soon and with each passing year, I get a little more nervous.  I have to constantly pray about his future and our sanity.  I still take it day by day because… I just have to.  I can’t think too far ahead because the thought of the unknown can literally “shut me down” at times. We are determined to make him be as independent as he can possibly be.  With Faith, Work, and Determination…It will be done!







21 thoughts on “Mission…Independence 

  1. I wish you the best with this, Nicky! I have had to work towards this with both of my children. I think that when they are younger and don’t have the skill to do these things, we do it for them and then finding that window of opportunity where they can begin to take more responsibility can by difficult for any parent with any child. I recognize that this is way more challenging with autism. When I think back to where my children were and how far they have come along, that helps me believe that they will eventually learn to do whatever new challenge is ahead. Hope that helps you too 🙂

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  2. Nicky, just keep praying that MJ do the things that you ask him to do. It seems like he listens to his dad, but not so much mommy. Is this a pre-teen thing? I’ll continue to pray. I know that he’ll come around.

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  3. Hey – Have you thought about making a chart and pinning it on the wall? We did that for our 2 and it worked like a charm. We have 2 lists for each kid. 1 is a “check list” … When you wake up: 1. Brush teeth, make your bed, fold your pajamas etc. Then they also have a “Chores list” … 1 chore per day. Monday – Vacuum your room. Tuesday – Clean the toilet. Wednesday – Take your laundry basket to the laundry room. etc. They got into the routine of it and now we don’t have to say anything to them other than “Did you do your chore for today yet?
    Just a suggestion. I know the constant talking wears both you and them down.

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  4. Awww. His sweet face in this pic!!!! lol… You will get it!
    I know it’s not easy AND I also have no doubt what so ever that you are awesome and that this is another challenge you’ll be able to share with others on how they can concur this stage too. He’s such a cutie!

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  5. Jake will be 8 in a couple of weeks and I feel you with the repetition of words! I get so tired of having to say the same thing several times or having to get right in his face for him to respond. And usually the response I get is “stop yelling”!

    You’re doing an awesome job and always give me lots to think about!! Thanks for sharing 🙂

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  6. Well done Nicky. You aren’t lazy and neither is MJ. He looks adorable 8n that picture. Don’t worry, kids worldwide do that – quick compliance with DAD, kicking and screaming/seemingly ignoring Mum even if Mum is shouting her head off. It’s not fair but they all do it. Also love your hash tags.

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