I Lie to MJ way more than I’d like to admit. The primary reason for it is that I’m trying to prevent a major meltdown. It still makes me feel incredibly guilty every time I have to do it. I Lie to him when I’m taking my daughter somewhere and he cannot come. I lied to him last weekend when I wanted my daughter to celebrate her birthday with her friends. She sometimes worries about him when she’s out and about and I did not want her to have to do that on her birthday. My daughter will be going to a sleepover soon and I am already anticipating the fact that I will once again have to lie to him about where she is going. The last time she had a sleepover and he could not go, he had a major meltdown and it took about four hours for him to recover from it. It was horrible…He was yelling, “no mommy, noooooo,” over and over again and would not stop crying. It broke my heart. I know I have to stop doing this. He has to learn that he will not be able to go everywhere with his sister. He has to learn how to cope with it. Maybe I should start now. Maybe I need to prepare him now, for her upcoming sleep over…Yes I believe I will. God help me.
We all went to Barnes and Noble so that my daughter could get a book that she wanted (She’s totally into Dork Diaries right now). We split up as we normally do when it’s the four of us-My daughter went with me and MJ went with hubby. We quickly found the book my daughter wanted and decided to try and find something for MJ. He likes animals so we picked up a book about dolphins and found them and showed the book to MJ. Other than reading the title, we could tell he was not interested. hubby gave me the, “leave him alone, give him some space” look so I decided to stop hovering and see if he picked out anything. That lasted about 10 min lol because I saw a book about one of his favorite TV shows! I showed it to him and he started smiling and even reading it a little, but he would not pick it up and hold it. It was getting late so we went to the checkout counter and purchased the book for my daughter. As soon as we got into the car MJ says, “What about mine?” Hubby and I look at each other, then back at MJ. We then say, “MJ do you want to go back inside and find a book?” He started repeating a sound over and over again- Which is what he does when he can’t decide what to do, ” eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, ehhhhhhhhhh.” After about the 10th “eh,” I got out and went to his side of the car and calmly asked again if he wanted to go back inside. Then I waited and waited and waited. He finally got out of the car, we went back inside, and he picked up the PJ Masks book from earlier. He happily went to the checkout counter and I gave him cash and made him pay for the book. We all went home happy.
We are trying to work on helping him to make decisions. Sometimes the simplest of choices, poses the biggest problems (rice or bread, apple juice or lemonade etc). He takes a lot of time to make those decisions and he gets very frustrated when he can’t make up his mind. Son, we will work on this together until you are no longer frustrated. We love you buddy.