To Go Or Not To Go

It is becoming increasingly difficult to get MJ out of the house!  Unless it’s to his favorite restaurant, we often have to drag him out of the house. Sometimes I just don’t have the energy to deal with his behavior, so lots of times we just end up staying home! Other times however, it is a situation where he has to go or we have to force him to go. Today we wanted to go out to a family breakfast but to a different restaurant than he is accustomed to.  We let him know ahead of time that it was a new/different restaurant. He took forever to get dressed, brush his teeth, and do the other necessary things before leaving the house. He was in a bad mood and it immediately put me on edge because I did not want him to have a meltdown.  When we got to the restaurant, to help the process, we quickly ordered his usual favorite (that he gets at the other restaurants), and set his tablet up on their free Wi-Fi. He was still grumpy, banged on his tablet a few times, and wouldn’t interact with any of us.  Thankfully he began watching one of his favorite shows and then his mood got better.  The food came and he immediately began to devour it. That is when I was finally able to relax and enjoy my food and our time at breakfast. I hate the anxiety that I often feel when we go out to certain places. But I understand that sometimes he will have to be forced to go where he doesn’t necessarily want to go. We don’t want him to be a child that does not go out and about and experience different things. The difficulty at times is finding the balance between that and his comfort level.  

He was not happy at all when we got there. 

Using my phone, but still not happy 😩

He sure did clean his plate though! Hoping it will be better the next time we try it.  






16 thoughts on “To Go Or Not To Go

  1. I do so understand this and I am glad he was able to relax and eat. I try to keep my kids accustomed to doing things outside because none of them want to leave the house. I keep them out longer and longer in an attempt to normalize being outside the home.

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  2. Been there. I pushed Jay to go out a lot of the times when I probably should not have and it didn’t end well. But I have to say now, things are so much better and easier so maybe it was all a necessary part of the process. I still have to find the right time window though of giving advanced notice so he can mentally prepare and/or ask questions etc but not too much time so that he gets himself all worked up and stressed out over the trip. There are no easy answers to this. Balance is tough.

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  3. I know it’s tough and I remember those days when my son was younger but in my son it really helped him when he got older to learn more flexibility. Hang in there!!

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  4. Nicky, familiarity or routine is so important to all kids, and even more so with those on the spectrum. I have been in that same situation with Jonathan, and I had to be a parent, just like you did. I insisted on him making a change or going somewhere that he didn’t want to go. I am glad things worked out with MJ at the new restaurant. You’re a great inspiration to this mom/grandmom. Thanks for sharing.

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