I went into the IEP meeting ready to “lay down the law!”  I had all of my notes, questions, email print-outs, and work samples with me.  The first thing we discussed was a recent issue that happened in the cafeteria with a student taking some of Mj’s lunch.  We already had an issue with this a year ago and I was told that there would be “more supervision.”  They seem to think that just because Mj can open his own milk carton and feed himself that he doesn’t need as much supervision as some of the other students.  Anyway, I digress…We began going through the IEP and I insisted that they add a goal for his social communication.  The goal that they had was something about him raising his hand in class?!  That was definitely not a strong goal so I had them add one regarding Mj initiating conversation with his peers. We then discussed some issues that we had regarding HW that was being sent home that was way above his comprehension level.  All it serves to do is frustrate MJ, which then frustrates me, which then frustrates my husband…and so on and so on. The ESE specialist and his teacher, agreed that it would not happen again. Due to MJ’s age, they began to talk about his transition out of high school.  They started talking about a possible vocational/job training program and that’s when it happened.  I felt the tears coming on and said, “Oh my God, I think I’m gonna cry.”  By the time I said it, the tears were already flowing.  I was not prepared to hear about any of the programs and to think about what Mj’s life would look like after high school.  I thought I had another year before they would begin discussing these things.  I tried to wipe my tears, get myself together and continue looking at my notes but it didn’t help.  The entire meeting from that moment on was me listening as they talked about the various programs that may be a good fit for MJ.  I listened intently and took as many notes as I could about each and every program.  Then they mentioned the need for my husband and me to get a lawyer to begin looking up guardianship.  She followed that with a statement about how expensive it was to get that done.  It was all just too much.  I managed to ask additional questions and read through the IEP but all I could think about was… What is going to happen to MJ after high school? What are we going to do?  Will he transition well? Will he get into any of these programs? Will transportation be safe?  What job is right for MJ? The questions in my mind have not stopped since this meeting.

We. Have. A. Lot. Of. Work. To. Do.

#Thisisoverwhelming

#Ididntexpecttocry

#Jesusyouhavetotakethewheel