Well That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen🥺

I went into the IEP meeting ready to “lay down the law!”  I had all of my notes, questions, email print-outs, and work samples with me.  The first thing we discussed was a recent issue that happened in the cafeteria with a student taking some of Mj’s lunch.  We already had an issue with this a year ago and I was told that there would be “more supervision.”  They seem to think that just because Mj can open his own milk carton and feed himself that he doesn’t need as much supervision as some of the other students.  Anyway, I digress…We began going through the IEP and I insisted that they add a goal for his social communication.  The goal that they had was something about him raising his hand in class?!  That was definitely not a strong goal so I had them add one regarding Mj initiating conversation with his peers. We then discussed some issues that we had regarding HW that was being sent home that was way above his comprehension level.  All it serves to do is frustrate MJ, which then frustrates me, which then frustrates my husband…and so on and so on. The ESE specialist and his teacher, agreed that it would not happen again. Due to MJ’s age, they began to talk about his transition out of high school.  They started talking about a possible vocational/job training program and that’s when it happened.  I felt the tears coming on and said, “Oh my God, I think I’m gonna cry.”  By the time I said it, the tears were already flowing.  I was not prepared to hear about any of the programs and to think about what Mj’s life would look like after high school.  I thought I had another year before they would begin discussing these things.  I tried to wipe my tears, get myself together and continue looking at my notes but it didn’t help.  The entire meeting from that moment on was me listening as they talked about the various programs that may be a good fit for MJ.  I listened intently and took as many notes as I could about each and every program.  Then they mentioned the need for my husband and me to get a lawyer to begin looking up guardianship.  She followed that with a statement about how expensive it was to get that done.  It was all just too much.  I managed to ask additional questions and read through the IEP but all I could think about was… What is going to happen to MJ after high school? What are we going to do?  Will he transition well? Will he get into any of these programs? Will transportation be safe?  What job is right for MJ? The questions in my mind have not stopped since this meeting.

We. Have. A. Lot. Of. Work. To. Do.

#Thisisoverwhelming

#Ididntexpecttocry

#Jesusyouhavetotakethewheel

 

17 thoughts on “Well That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen🥺

  1. I READ THIS EARLIER I MUST SAY THAT I REAAALLLLLLLY FELT YOU! PLEASE DON’T WORRY BECAUSE GOD HAS GOT HIM, DON’T FEAR BECAUSE THAT DOES NOT HELP! GIVE IT TO GOD, DO YR PART AND HE WILL GIUDE YOU! THE ENTIRE FAMILY WILL MAKE SURE MJ IS ALLLWAYS GOOD ….DON’T U EVER FORGET THIS! AND THIS JUST MAKES ME GO HARDER BECAUSE I LOVE MY NEPHEW! ALL IS WELL AND MONEY , WISDOM AND DIRECTION WILL COME AS U TRUST GOD, BABE SEEK HIS FACE, LOOK AND LISTEN FOR CLUES. WUUUUSSSAAAAAA…..🙏🏼

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  2. Dear Nicki, so so sorry for your tears! You’ve come this far so don’t give up now. If you have to cry, girl cry! You and your husband are doing an amazing job, and sometimes it can get overwhelming but you’ve got this! Am sending you love and hugs from my heart to yours across the big divide that separates us. Do Not Give Up!

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  3. Dear Nicki, I am so so sorry for your tears! But girl, you and your husband have been doing an amazing job so far, so if you have to cry then go ahead and cry (besides, I was crying with you as I read your post). It definitely looks overwhelming right now, but God is with you and you’ve got this! Sending lots of love and hugs from my heart to yours across the big divide that separates us; hang in there! 🙂

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  4. I can totally relate to your concerns and tears. Uncertainty behind the door of life is frightening and the feeling our children entering adulthood is difficult. We have two teenager boys (13 & 17) with special needs ( ADHD, Asperger and a mood disorder). And they a African American. What helps my wife and I when we feel the weight of uncertainty and anxiety is realizing that God loves our boys even more than we do. This aww ha moment saved our hearts and minds years ago and we revisit this constant fact whenever we feel overwhelmed. Praying for you and your beautiful family and knowing without doubt that God has already created victory, the right people in his life and blessings for MJ. In Jesus’s name we pray, amen!

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  5. My oldest is 18, 19 in June. We changed his graduation to next year. They can stay in high school until 22, if y’all decide. From what I understand, it’s more conditioning to get them ready to be outside high school. I looked into guardianship also. It is very overwhelming. But you’ve got this 🤗

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    1. Yes. They were telling me that he would be in a different type of program instead of staying at the school until he was 22! Totally the opposite of what I thought they were going to say.
      Thank you!

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  6. It is an emotional time for you, but your son will make it through. I am glad that they have special job training programs for the children. Here in the caribbean it is more difficult. Give it God and He will see you through.

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