Happy Father’s Day! I posted this to my Instagram account and figured I would post it here as well (hope the videos play). This year we treated Hubby to a much needed massage and some treats. He’s an awesome dad to our children and we love and appreciate him so very much❤️.
I also can’t forget about the man that raised me! I can’t begin to explain how great of a father he was/is! I’m so thankful to God that he was chosen to be My Daddy 😍.
My husband and I have returned from our “stay married vacation” and we have checked all the boxes:
- Have sex without the kids interrupting…CHECK!
- Miss the kids but prevent ourselves from calling them 3 times a day…Check
- Have fun…check
- Reconnect and fall in love again…check
- Come back refreshed and in a better position to parent…check!
We really did have a wonderful time and I am already planning next year’s vacation. I hope we have inspired someone to take their own “stay married vacation” 🙂
Haven’t we all heard that 50% of all marriages end in divorce? Well add a special needs child and that rate goes up to 80%. Many people say that rate is untrue. Regardless of your own personal view I think most people agree that marriage can be difficult. Even if you are swinging from the chandeliers every night, there are still difficult moments and seasons in a marriage. About 6 years ago my husband and I began taking what I call a “stay married vacation” once a year. It has become a priority in our marriage to take this vacation. This is a KIDLESS vacation! This is our time to relax, reconnect, have sex without a child knocking on the door and asking us to open the door, and just have a REAL break! It has been amazing for us. We return home rejuvenated and better prepared to handle our daily lives. My dad and stepmom have stayed with our kids for all of these vacations. It is wonderful for the kids as well because they know it’s their special time with granddad and grandma. I am forever grateful to them for this. We are able to go away and not worry about the kids at all. Soon we will be going on this vacation. This is one thing that we do as a couple to make sure we maintain a happy marriage and a happy home.
Last year’s stay married vacation in Puerto Rico 😊
Picture courtesy of Pinterest
Last night Mj had another crying episode. This one lasted for 2 hours. It started about an hour before bedtime. The trigger seemed to be that he couldn’t figure out what snack he wanted…but I’m still not sure what it was. After 15 min of him trying to choose a snack, he finally ate something and seemed to be ok. A few minutes after that he started crying again. I comforted him the best way that I could and told him everything will be ok. He went to bed crying. He kept saying “but I’m sad”. We talked about his birthday parties (he had one at school too) and the awesome weekend we had…He was still crying. I hugged him and sang. He was still crying. I continuously asked him what was wrong and massaged his head. He was still crying. I turned on his favorite show. He was still crying. By this time it’s way passed his bedtime. My husband decided to try. He lied in Mj’s bed for about 30 min. They both watched a little of the basketball game and he calmed down a little bit but was still crying. At the 2 hour mark we kissed and hugged him, said prayers and told him to try and go to bed. We checked on him after 20 min and he was asleep. I absolutely hate when this happens. It’s so difficult to figure out what is wrong and what the trigger is (sigh). This morning he seemed ok. I sent his teacher a text message to give her a “heads up”. She said he was unmotivated today. Praying and believing that tomorrow will be better.
MJ after his recent haircut! How handsome 🙂
There is one thing that I really appreciate about my husband. It is his ability to cut hair! Of course with MJ it has been awesome to have one less thing to worry about. My husband has been cutting MJ’s hair since he was 7 months old! As MJ got older we had to try more and more tricks to have him sit still. I would try things like lollipops, music, games, singing, and him sitting in my lap. Thank goodness for Elmo! We would put on an episode and have him watch it while his hair was cut. I do realize how frustrating it is for parents that don’t have an in-house barber. There are meltdowns, tantrums, screaming fits, and crying bouts that happen every day when “our children” have to get their hair cut. Now that MJ is older, we no longer need all of the distractions in order to have him sit still. He has come to love hair cut day because he loves the way he looks when it’s over. He stares at himself in the mirror, rubs his head, then runs to me to ask “mommy do you like my haircut?” I am so very thankful for the gift of “haircut heaven”.
It is exhilarating nowadays to actually be able to dine out as a family. When MJ was between 3-7 1/2 years old it was near impossible to do. I remember one specific day that we decided to give it a try. We went to “Johnny Carino’s” early one evening right after we picked the kids up from school. We knew the restaurant would not be crowded and we already knew what we would order. When we picked him up he seemed calm and happy. We walked into the restaurant and sat down. I was very nervous but tried my best to hide it. For the first 7 minutes everything was great. We sat, ordered, and got our drinks right away. However after 7 minutes MJ:
went underneath the table
began running back and forth down the aisle
was yelling loudly
and was banging on the table.
Oh, the Horror lol (I can laugh about it now)!
I was so happy that there weren’t many people in there at the time. My husband called our waiter and he immediately asked for the check and doggie bags. The idea of not being able to “get out” was very difficult for us. You feel trapped, isolated, and frustrated. None of the other people we knew had this issue…It was just US. While everyone was able to go out with their families, WE WEREN’T. The drive-thru was our best friend! Do you know how guilty we felt taking only Morgan places when MJ was in school? We didn’t want her to miss out on some experiences because of MJ but at the same time we felt guilty doing it. Due to the babysitting situation I previously wrote about (April 4th post), many times my husband and I would just go out separately in order to get a break. We both hated that but what other choice did we have. My husband never stopped trying to take MJ out. One day he took MJ to KFC. He sent me a pic of my son sitting down nicely, enjoying his meal, and calm. I was so excited! He continued to do “mini restaurant visits” like that with MJ more often. It was so amazing when we all were able to go to lunch at Cracker Barrel. Even now at 10 years old, going out is not without incident. We just plan before we go and we make sure he has his Nabi tablet, portable DVD player, or at the very least, a charged iPhone. MJ still has a limit of about 45-60 minutes at a restaurant but at least we are able to go out as a family now on occasion…It’s one of those things that I appreciate doing so much now. Now if I could just teach him to not try to lick the salt and pepper shakers, and not burp so loudly, this world will be a better place! 🙂
I used to use something like this to help MJ choose what he wanted when he was not as verbal.
Photo courtesy of Pinterest.