Help! My Son’s IEP Meeting is Soon!

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I have been attending IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meetings for MJ since he was 3 years old. He is now 10 and I have to admit that I still get nervous and stressed before every meeting (no matter how many books I read about it). I still get a little “jab in the heart” as they go down the list of goals he hasn’t met, tests he is supposed to take, and where he is developmentally compared to other peers of his age. Sometimes I am not even sure that I want my husband to attend because I know it will affect him more than it affects me. I actually need a glass of wine after every meeting! One year I was told that MJ would take the big standardized test, the CRCT (Georgia’s state test at the time). I was upset that he even had to go through taking that test when WE ALL KNEW that he would not be able to read, comprehend, and answer all of the questions on the test! I assumed that he would at least have the questions or passages read to him in order for him to try and answer the questions. Well I was wrong! I was told that because MJ could read, they would not read anything to him at all! At that time yes, MJ was able to read but that was all it was. He was sounding out words. He was not able to put those words together and comprehend long sentences or passages! After lots of “angry mommy” emails and phone calls I was finally told that he would be taking a modified version of the test. I wasn’t happy but at least the test was shortened a bit. Here in Florida my son takes a different type of test. The current test is not the usual paper-pencil based test. The teacher uses many manipulatives in order to test him in various subject areas. They also ask him questions and have him answer orally etc. I am in the process of coming up with speech and OT goals that I want him to work on next school year (Dear God help me…he is going to middle school). I am praying for good news and lots of progress. If anyone has any tips or suggestions for IEP meetings I would love to hear it!